Why Crufts Isn’t My Style
- kadair0
- Mar 17
- 3 min read
A personal reflection on the kind of dog-human relationship I believe in
Every year when Crufts is on, people ask me if I’m watching.
I usually smile and say no.
I’m dog crazy, I love everything to do with dogs except this.
I’ve sat with that enough now to understand why.
When I watch competitive dog shows, I see precision, control and performance under pressure.
What I don’t see is the kind of relationship I build my work around.
The people who come to me aren’t trying to create a dog who can hold a perfect heel in an arena.
They’re trying to walk down their own street without their heart racing.
They’re trying to answer the door without bracing.
They’re trying to stop feeling like they’re failing the one being they love most.
My philosophy has never been about producing impressive dogs.
It’s about restoring safety between two nervous systems.
Because over the years, what I’ve come to believe is this:
A dog can be impeccably trained and still not feel safe.
A dog can perform beautifully and still be carrying stress and fear.
And a guardian can follow every rule and still feel disconnected.
It’s a reflection of what matters to me.
I don’t measure success in obedience and control.
I measure it in connection, joy and quiet togetherness.
In the moment a guardian realises that their shoulders aren’t up around her ears anymore.
In the way a dog checks in with their person not out of obedience, but out of trust. That cute way they look up and smile at you to double check you’re having a great time too.
It’s in the quiet shift from “How do I stop this behaviour?” to “What is my dog trying to communicate?”
Crufts celebrates excellence in execution.
My work is about congruence and trust in a relationship.
I care less about whether a dog looks controlled and more about whether they feel regulated.
I care less about external polish and more about internal safety.
And I care deeply about the person at the other end of the lead.
The one who has tried everything.
The one who loves fiercely.
The one who has Googled things at 1am she never thought she would.
The one who whispers promises into her dog’s fur at night.
They are my people and that’s the arena I work in, because I was once you.
Not bright lights and judges.
But parked cars after hard walks.
Kitchen floors.
Living rooms where someone is realising this was never about dominance or commands.
It is about safety.
About leadership that feels steady.
About co-regulation instead of control.
Crufts isn’t my style because my philosophy isn’t built on performance.
It’s built on partnership.
It’s built on the belief that dogs aren’t giving us a hard time.
They’re having a hard time.
And when we shift from correcting behaviour to understanding state, everything changes.
Not overnight and sorry I don’t have a magic wand!
But I can help you build you dream relationship sustainably.
If you’ve ever felt a quiet disconnect watching the spectacle…
If you’ve ever thought, “That’s impressive, but it’s not what I want”…
You’re not alone.
There is another way to measure success.
And it doesn’t involve a trophy.
It involves peace, love, joy and connection.
If that’s the kind of relationship you’re longing for, I created something gentle to help you begin and it's free.
The L.O.V.E Reset.
A starting point that focuses on nervous system safety before behavioural strategy.
Not about control.
About connection.
You can explore it when you’re ready.
No bright lights required.
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